Letter Poem ~Dear, Charles Manson~

Dear Manson,
Mika Carman here. telling you your crazy. need mental help. fascinating though. how? so many people dead by people you told. your crazy. in need of help. wanna be friends?
Love,
Mika Carman

Headline Poem ~Mika~

Mika
curious. temptation. amazing. daisy. darlin'. bright. perfect. ENERGY. fun. TEEN. SHINE. student. Angel. EDGY. miracle. DOWN-TO-EARTH. Happy. flirty. Only Me. EXTRAORDINARY. Rebellious. Beautiful. Cute. CRAZY. WILD. princess. Family. Convenience. Gentle. Dazzling. virgo.
Mika.

Ten Things That Are Distracting Me

1. My Phone: my phone is distracting me because I keep looking at it waiting for a text.
2. Prom: Prom is distracting me because its SATURDAY!!
3. Chris's iPod. Because it just frickin made me deaf.
4. Mr. Fohl. He is TALKING! (like hes the teacher or something)
5. i just have a really blank mind today. its also very random. like gummy bears in the morgue.
6. chris is laughing at me
7. I LOVE ANNA!!!
8. The word metrosexual.
9. Annas fish named Paco.
10. Im super STOKED TO BE OUT OF SCHOOL IN 3 WEEEKS!

i so have senioritis

Reflection of Writing Careers

My reflection on this is that is kinda silly. I mean for real. I realistically would never want to do this job... LIKE YUCK!

Summary of Writing Careers

When I was younger I kinda had this dream of being a famous writer. I always thought that it would be so great to just sit around and write all day. Then i discovered that there is a few other things that i could do that had to do with writing. I could be an indexer. An indexer is a person who takes the proof pages from the text and does what the author wants done. Or i could be a Blogger. A blogger is someone who writes in an online journal about whatever is on their mind. I could also be a Web content developer. A Web Content Developer is a person who takes on the duties of a website. I could also be an Online Auction Lister. An online auction lister is someone who will be given an item told to sell it on the interent.

P.S. I'm still not over you

"P.S. (I'm Still Not Over You)"
Rihanna
[verse 1]
Whats up?
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I'll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How's your mother, how's your little brother?
Does he still look just like you?
So many things I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you
[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
[verse 2]
Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you
[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
Did you know
I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no....Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget
[chorus]
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

This song is really the song that helped me finally get over that one person i just couldnt. i finally realized that i deserve better and that i have better. i dont need him. this song helped me and im glad i found it on megans iTunes.

Senior Year

"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of that night in June

I didn't know much of love

But it came too soon

And there was me and you

And then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone

And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared

Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels

[1]As we go on

We remember

All the times we

Had together

And as our lives change

From whatever

We will still be

Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs

And we make the big money

When we look back now

Will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels

[Repeat 1]

La, la, la, la

Yeah, yeah, yeah

La, la, la, la

We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbyeKeep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat 1 (3x)]

Right now this song means alot to me. I really didn't think that graduation would affect me as much as it really has. I can just think about not seeing Kyle's smiling face coming down the hallway yelling obscenities at us. or Robbie just being himself and saying what he feels at any given moment. I think its a really scary thought process that this could be the last time i see any of these people that i have grown to love and hate at the same time. No matter what the past 13 years have been the best and i wouldnt trade them for the world.

My best friend by Tim McGraw

Journal Entry #6
Track 5 - Time 4:39)(Aimee Mayo/Bill Luther)
My Best Friend by: Tim McGraw
I never had no one
I could count on
I've been let down so many times
I was tired of hurtin'
So tired of searchin
''Til you walked into my life
It was a feelin' I'd never known
And for the first time
I didn't feel alone
You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend, oh yeah
You stand by me
And you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You're right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble
When we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love
You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend (my best friend)
You're my best friend (my best friend)


This song is so sweet and I just love it. It shows you that you can be with your best friend and still be in love with them. TTYL
~Mika

More rambles

Journal Entry #5
So I was just sitting here reading a text and getting ready to do my next update when it donned on me that I should probably tell you why I’m making so many blog entries so close together. I was like way super far behind because I was sick with bronchitis that turned into pneumonia. But now I’m on the uphill slide of things and should be almost better. But anyway this weekend I am totally ready for. Friday I am going to Jamesport and going to have lots of fun with Katie, Jenna, Mike, and Brandon. Then Saturday night the boys are playing at the bar in Jamesport so I will be D.D. (designated driver) but I would rather that then have to go to another funeral because of drinking and driving. When Drew was alive he taught me so many thing but I think the biggest thing he ever taught me was not to drink and drive. Don’t get me wrong I miss my Drewskeet so much and I would take a million more of those flaming shots that he almost killed me with just to have him back. I wish I could show him that I learned the Soulja Boy dance and that it wasn’t his teaching it was my dancing skills. I miss him so much everyday. When I look at the little things like a senior picture that a teacher has it makes me just want to sit down and tell millions of stories about him. I will never forget the night that he came and picked me up and someone else was with him but we were in the truck and I said, “Hey Drewskeet, Do you think I could drive?” He literally stopped the truck and looked at me and said, “Mika honey HELL NO!” and then he just kept driving and we laughed and laughed about that for so long. It was a total had to be there thing but it was funny. When my dad died nobody really knows this but Drew saw me crying on the front porch of my house and he stopped and we just talked for like 3 hours. I just miss and love him so much! Anyway I am totally thinking about graduation and I bought my prom dress! Its so pretty. The picture on here is my prom dress. I guess our prom theme is masquerade or something like that. I’m ok with that as long as they don’t expect me to wear a mask. Anyway I think that its time for me to move on to another one! TTYL!
~Mika

Random Ramblings...

Journal Entry #4
So I have been thinking a lot about this strange situation that I’m in at the moment. I’m not sure what to do and I don’t think I can really explain it on here because then there will be like 1500 freakin rumors going on. I swear. Anyways so I’m thinking that I really need to some major adjusting in my life. I need to get my priorities straight. Here’s how my life is now from most important to least important family, friends, boys, music, texting, facebook, my hair, sleep, and then maybe school. So maybe I should readjust it to something like family, school, friends, boys, music, texting, facebook, my hair, and then sleep. I just know that whatever I’m doing I need to start focusing on my homework and class work more. I mean seriously I totally have 63 days (including weekends) left. I should so be able to handle this! I mean I know if I just did it that it would be done and I would have more fun when I was hanging out with my friends or whoever because I wouldn’t be thinking about homework. But no I’m too focused on friends. Except last night I was going to go hang out with Brently and a few other people and Brent wouldn’t let me do anything until I finished my homework I was just like BS! Lol but we ended up having fun and he ended up doing most of it anyway so I was ok with that. Well I think I need to move on to the rest of my work. TTYL!
~Mika

Friends and Family

Journal Entry #3
Ok so maybe we all got off on the wrong foot. My name is Mika Carman. I am a senior at PHS. Finally a senior! I don’t really like school much and basically the only reason I come is to see my friends. I have been really sick for the past 2 weeks and I am way freaking behind! I have the 4 best friends a girl could ever ask for! They are Katie, Megan, Brently, and Grant. I have a wonderful mother and a step-dad that I don’t really get along with that well. I also have a woman named Angie and she is like my other mother and the one I turn to when I think the world is falling apart. She also blessed me with 4 beautiful little sisters. Anna who is 15, almost 16, Paige who is 14, Kristen who is 10, and my little bug Samantha who is 6. I would do anything in my power to help these girls or Angie. I will kill any man that tries to mess with them. They are my family and that’s all there is to it. We may not be blood related but I’ve always been told that love is thicker than blood! I think that the fact that I have them is amazing. Now my biological mother and I have had our differences in the past but now that I have matured a little bit I realize that she is the one person that I will always have no matter what and that she will never look at me differently for the things that I choose to do. Ok now Katie is my best friend because she is just the best friend I have ever had. I believe that a friend is someone who no matter how long its been since you’ve talked to them you always pick up a conversation like its nothing. That’s how Katie and I have been. We didn’t talk for about a year because after I lived with her and her boyfriend for a year I couldn’t handle him anymore. But recently like January she and I began our friendship again. She has also blessed me with being an aunt to the most beautiful little girl in the world. Her name is Lilly Renee and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Megan and I have been having a few differences lately but that happens when you have been friends with someone since the 4th grade. No matter what she knows that I would walk through burning embers for her. Brently and I have just discovered that we are best friends! Lol. We are like twins. Except he like coconut and steak and he keeps telling me that is going to put a strain on our relationship. J He’s pretty great and I hope we are friends for a long time. Now me saying that Grant is one of my best friends is going to make my little sister Anna very angry with me. But Anna I just want you to know that no matter you are my little sister and you come first but Grant kind of needs me. I understand that he has done some unforgivable things and trust me I don’t let him forget about it. But Anna he needs me and in some strange ways I need him. He's just that one person that can keep me distracted from the BIG A! (Lol Anna) Well I think that’s enough for now. TTYL! ~Mika

"Flaws and All"
By: Beyonce Knowles
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.
[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
I love you
I love you
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flawsand that's exactly what I mean.
[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
I love you
Ilove you
[Repeat Chorus]
I like this song because it just shows hoe much someone can love somebody unconditionally.

My Random Thoughts

Journal Entry #1
OK so first off I am so sick of negative attitudes. This is how I will start out this blog thing. I only say it that way because I am still not exactly sure as to what a blog is exactly. Anyway back to my topic at hand here. I am so tired of it. Why cant people just make the best of what they have? I know this might piss a few people of and possibly in my class but I just don’t understand why the glass always has to be half empty with some people. I know that sometimes life just sucks… trust me I know! But still there’s always someone that is less fortunate than you. But no some people just think, “oh poor me.” Well ya know what screw that! Maybe this makes me look like a witch with a capital frickin b but oh well it is what it is. Just be happy to be alive. So you have to do a crappy assignment that you hate. Oh well deal with it. So your boyfriend/girlfriend is having a really bad attitude. Talk to them about it. DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON EVERYONE ELSE! It’s just so aggravating. Here’s another thing that has been bugging me a lot lately… Girls. No not in that way. What I mean is why are girls so damned dramatic and vicious? I mean seriously and I'm not saying that I’m the only female in the world without drama in my life because trust me I have drama but I just don’t think that you need to let it consume your every thought and being. It’s like I have more guy friends than I do girl friends so I am constantly hearing, “are you guys sleeping together?” or I get called a slut or some other ridiculous thing like that. I mean seriously who people wanna have sex with is their business and there business only. Who cares if I’m sleeping with one guy or the whole damn county? It shouldn’t matter to anyone but me and the person I’m sleeping with. But that’s a different topic. Well anyway that’s my aimless thoughts for today. Hope I entertained you. ~Mika